i’ve been thinking…

i’m sure most of you could have gleaned by now that i’ve been on quite a zen, be here now kind of kick for awhile.

and that’s good. it’s so good. watching, engaging, being here. it’s good.

it’s good up until i realized that i’ve become so wrapped up in being here now, i’ve stopped being here. i’ve stopped watching and engaging because i’m so incredibly focused on enjoying the present that i’m missing out on the present. i want to remember every little word and gesture, and i have totally missed the boat.

brady reminded me the other nite that we have so many more christmases to christmas, and it’s a marathon, a journey. this isn’t IT. it doesn’t have to be just perfectly perfect right now. and you know what got through to me the most? when he said “we’ll probably have 5 or 6 more couches in our lifetime”.

how right is that?

and this morning, my friend sara sent out an email. her baby is 25 years old today. and i just smiled, and sighed, and it totally hit home.

one day, my babies are going to be 25. and christmas will still be here, birthdays will still be here.

and i can relax, right now.

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