this morning i woke up at 6:45, which is not all too early, but a good 2 hours earlier than my usual wake-up time. i woke up so early because i have been anxious, fretful and worried about tonite.
tonite i am going to my little brother’s graduation, and reading a short bio about him while he walks across the stage. i have been freaking out for the last few weeks about having to walk onstage, read for a minute, and walk off. no, it’s really not my idea of fun, but it’s also not quite as traumatic as i’ve been acting.
so, this morning i have been standing at my window, drinking tea and watching my garden grow. and i realized how insanely self-absorbed i’ve been. this isn’t about me in the slightest. it’s about celebrating my little brother and his journey.
i’d be lying if i said i’m not still nervous about falling on my face, or saying “jess” instead of “jed”. (i’ve been watching a LOT of gilmore girls lately and tend to get pretty outrageous in my imagining interesting circumstances.) but it’s going to be fun. and afterwards, there’s a party. and cupcakes. and hey! my baby brother is graduating!!