center & calm.

this morning i woke up at 6:45, which is not all too early, but a good 2 hours earlier than my usual wake-up time. i woke up so early because i have been anxious, fretful and worried about tonite.

tonite i am going to my little brother’s graduation, and reading a short bio about him while he walks across the stage. i have been freaking out for the last few weeks about having to walk onstage, read for a minute, and walk off. no, it’s really not my idea of fun, but it’s also not quite as traumatic as i’ve been acting.

so, this morning i have been standing at my window, drinking tea and watching my garden grow. and i realized how insanely self-absorbed i’ve been. this isn’t about me in the slightest. it’s about celebrating my little brother and his journey.

i’d be lying if i said i’m not still nervous about falling on my face, or saying “jess” instead of “jed”. (i’ve been watching a LOT of gilmore girls lately and tend to get pretty outrageous in my imagining interesting circumstances.) but it’s going to be fun. and afterwards, there’s a party. and cupcakes. and hey! my baby brother is graduating!!


8 thoughts on “center & calm.

  1. You’ll be fine! I had to give a speech at my own graduation and I don’t even know if I was speaking clearly enough for comprehension. I’m so socially awkward, but I got through it alive. 🙂

    Congratulations to your brother!!!

  2. I’m seriously gonna slap you, woman.
    Just because you’re nervous doesn’t mean you’re making it all about you. If it were all about you you wouldn’t be doing the speech.
    You’ll be fine!!!! Just have a couple beers before you go. 🙂

    • it was fine, though i started crying near the end of it and raced to finish so i could get off the stage! for some reason, jed graduating is totally different for me than jonnie’s or whitney’s, probably because i think he should still be 8 🙂

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